![]() ![]() ![]() We didn’t know the guy the driver, I mean. And then there was the time he fell asleep in the backseat of a car and the driver didn’t realise he was there and took him halfway to Milton Keynes. I remember him once coming up to me at the end of the night and hugging me aggressively and saying take me home and fuck me! No one has ever seen a man run so fast I could have broken records. J had plenty of cash, and was always treating us at the best bars, buying cigars and brandy. Alcoholics are a riot, much more fun that drug addicts. ![]() We still had J, and he was an alcoholic, although no one ever acknowledged that. People like Tom, who we tried to help, but only ever in small scale ways that involved taking him for a drink, hoping he’d see in that gesture some kind of empathy, or assurance, because we were more afraid of facing his problems than he was. Everyone drifting, moving out of your reach, like you’re a cat trying to catch a light-spot on a wall that shifts each time you pounce. From my late teens onwards my life moved into different territory, one that resembled a graveyard but which was actually a kind of halfway house. When I was a kid things were scary and everything connected to that fear seemed permanent. The longer you live the more you seem surrounded by people who are in the process of losing themselves. ![]()
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